Yes. We usually tend to talk least about the things we think about most!

There come times in our life where feelings of being distracted irk us as never before. We get perplexed by every tiny detail, incident or idea that might even come from nowhere. With regard to the things roaming in our minds day and night as well as the things pummeling our hearts, we can say nothing, to anyone, as it might not be that easy to share such thoughts with people who know absolutely nothing about what we’re -courageously- going through. “Isn’t it strange that we talk least about the things we think about most?” No. I don’t think it’s that strange, Lindbergh.

Relationships, I suppose, have never been as simple as the majority usually claim. Dealing with someone’s soul means making an ethereal connection with the most delicate part of their being. If we can just make it the right way, we may actually get something that’s indescribably marvelous: finding the kindest, purist and most beautiful humans on earth. Only do we get such awesome people to enter our own worlds and grant us some of the courage we need to face confrontations and bury our fears.

Though we would love to share all of our bright, funny, happy and fabulous moments with those whom we love and care about, there's always that thought that troubles us and deprives us of knowing where we exactly stand: it’s been always said that we shouldn’t get closer to our friends, mates, relatives, some special people and whoever we know so as not to be a burden to them; however, it’s also been said that what makes relationships strong and unique is the way we care, the way we let people know their worth and how often we remind them of their magic.

I think I’m doing quite well up so far, but still I get easily confused by some certain things that I myself can’t describe or talk about precisely, things that are completely based on my own feelings and guided by my intuition. The questions are always there, and so are the answers. They might be hidden for some reason now, but they’re to be very well answered one day.

It’s 2:40 am and I’m supposed to be asleep now, as, seemingly, tomorrow’s going to be a very exhausting day. I don’t know why I’m writing this, but I think I feel much better now.

Last night I had a dream that.. Oh! Never mind.

You know when you should start being scared of your night dreams? The moment you realize they do come true, when what you see in your dreams occurs exactly right in front of your eyes in real life!

The whole story started when I was a high school student. I did find Physics very difficult that time and my relationship with God has accordingly changed ever since. I used to ask Him a lot to give me the strength to overcome my fears of Math and Physics, and I didn’t notice that I knew Him more, and loved Him even more and more. I used to have terrific dreams through which I could feel Him sending me messages: Not to worry and to trust in Him. My friends still remember many of my weird dreams up till now, as they all took place the same exact way I had previously narrated them.

Examples?

I once phoned my friend the night before Math exam telling her that she shouldn't study, for I had had a dream that something horrible, a battle maybe, was going to happen in the sea the next day and consequently, the exam would be cancelled. A day after, the attack of Gaza “Freedom fleet” took place and the exam was delayed. I had several dreams of my friends as well, being punished for forgetting their homework at home, succeeding in performing many tasks and traveling to foreign countries. Indeed, every single dream came true and now they keep reminding me of my scary talent of expecting and seeing things in my dreams.

Four days before the second war took place in Gaza, I told my mum that something dreadful was going to happen on Wed., at 3:30 pm. In the dream, I was talking to a friend on the phone:

“What? Are you crazy? I can’t leave home now! Can’t you hear the sounds of the drones and the F16s? And how on earth do you think the car will be able to reach the uni now? The streets are full of corpuses and blood! I’m not attending the lecture no matter what, the smell of death is everywhere. Everywhere!”

The disastrous Wednesday came and I saw everything again, just like every tiny detail in the dream.

Not only do my dreams tell about others, but they also convey special messages and meanings to me. Never in a million years will I forget the dream of that aged woman who looked like the Fairy Godmother in Cinderella movie. I was in my bed, unable to move because of being tied up with the TV and the computer cables around me, when she came and helped me remove them. She reminded me that it was dawn already, and that I should be praying at such time. She smiled, wore her cloak and flew. I can never forget the dreams where God showed me the way when I really needed His help, where He allowed me to pick adorable stars from the sky and put them in my bag, where He showed me the Golden sun right in front of my window several times as I’m in love with its beauty. In one of the dreams I had in Ramadan, I was gazing at the sky which wasn’t blue nor even empty. Another life was up there: Charming lights were everywhere, voices of happy people celebrating, exquisite colors of outstanding simple houses hanging from the sky. I had a strange belief that time that what I had seen was nothing but a piece of heaven!

Nowadays, I still have dreams of many people though I don’t actually see them very often. What makes things even more scary is that whatever I see them having or doing, happens literally to them. I saw some of them passing exams, and they did. I saw some of them getting jobs, and they did. I saw some of them sending me incomprehensible messages and talking to me though I haven’t talked to them for months in real life, and they did send me messages or saw me afterwards.

I’ve been told by so many people that it’s a wonderful thing to have such meaningful and interesting dreams, but I’m not sure if they really know how it feels. A part of you feels responsible for what might happen to someone you had a dream about. I mean, what would you do if you had a bad dream about someone you know? Would you just go and ask them to take care and be careful? Or would you keep silent and stand still? How would your reaction be the moment you hear bad news about them later on? I had never been that kind of person who believes in dreams nor their connotations; nonetheless, the unfathomable coincidences of seeing numerous things coming true made me deeply wonder about everything.

I still have no idea why I keep having such dreams, and I haven’t hitherto found answers to my questions: Is it a good thing or a bad thing to have such an ability? Having the ability to see things others may not be able to see, am I supposed to do something to help? If you were me, would you do anything?

Nostalgia

Fifteen years ago, we moved from our old big family house to the house we currently live in. Since then, my life had completely changed and I could no longer do many special things I used to do when I was under the age of eight. The big family house where I was born was excitingly vibrant and full of memories, feelings, emotions and unforgettable experiences that will never be repeated again.

I still remember those days when I used to have a cup of hot chocolate whenever I went home back from school, laying on a bed opposite our old TV set, watching ‘The Lovely Bear’, the cartoon I loved most then. My room was full of paintings which I and my sister used to draw with the help of my father who liked to paint nature scenes and cartoon characters derived from various stories. We were fond of watching his painting brush strokes and tried to imitate him using a variety of vivacious colours. Alphabets of Arabic and English were almost on every wall. In the living room, the walls were greenish, with oil drawings wherever I looked. The floor had the colour of the sand, with greenish squares embellished with white dots. I still remember the two birds; my sister’s and mine, which fascinatingly warbled all day, releasing unbelievably mellow and harmonic sounds.

Leaving our apartment and running downstairs, our mini orchard was there to embrace us. Our most joyous times used to be there, where exquisite flowers and trees surrounded us from all directions. The bushy trees bloomed on the walls casted dancing shadows all over the place, and the trees were rustling as though spirits were whispering to each other. Whenever I took a breath, the aroma of Jasmines permeating the air crept into my nose. The smell of Tangerine used to sneak into my nostrils; however, its fruits sour taste was unforgettably special. Mango fruit was the reason why we, I and my cousins, were always punished by my grandmother, as we used to pick them while they were still unripe. Numerous tantalizing aromas wafted out from lemon, fig, guava and apricot trees, that the wind blowing in the orchard was flavoured with diverse whiffs. Grapes clusters hanging from above were as bright as diamonds thanks to the incandescent rays of the sun infiltrating through the trees leaves and branches.

In order to reach that small aperture in the wall separating us from our neighbors’ house, we had to be extremely cautious not to tread on the mushroom growing in the backyard. That circular aperture was one of our peculiar ways to communicate with our neighbouring friends who live in the other side of the street; chatting, playing and even studying together there. Next to the aperture was a chicken coop, where many chicken as well as a trouble maker rooster were living. That wily rooster with his cunning glances and cautious motions used to attack us and to be attacked by us as well. The resplendent aureate beams of the scorching fiery ball in the sky had always contributed into heating the sand daily, and playing across the threshold of the house by midday was one of the most enjoyable games ever. No sooner did our legs touched the sand than they began to burn as though something began to sizzle in a pan. He who kept jumping on the flaming sand for a longer time was the winner.

Such places, times and stories are difficult not to be remembered. Some simple scents may smell ordinary to people; nonetheless, some other people would find them especially fragrant. Similarly, some places are more than mere buildings to people, as memories and experiences do create deep emotions and feelings towards them. Though I’m happy and satisfied with my current life, I sometimes wish that things had not changed. This has made me feel quite nostalgic, in fact.

Written on February 24. 2016.

Why don't they believe miracles are REAL?

Where I live, most people don't actually believe in positivity and hope. They seriously consider those who are permanently optimistic as impractical and unrealistic. Transforming hopes and dreams into a tangible reality occurs only in films, stories and fairy tales, most of them think.

I've always known we have the power, strength and determination to attract whatever we set our sights on. I used to imagine myself having what I wanted, celebrating, laughing and preparing for the surely coming successful phase. Most of them used to warn me not to set high expectations so that I don't get disappointed! "Don't dream too much, Hana. Many have done their best before you and luck wasn't on their side."

Wondering why most people are so disheartening and discouraging, why they accuse the ones who have wide imaginations and big dreams of not being logical or even reasonable. Should we allow our souls to be negatively affected by all the horrible things we're going through? Should we accept to live without colors nor sounds just due to the ridiculous fear of being disappointed? Should we give up and keep waiting for someone or something to come and save us? Why do they want us to have a diminished view of our own extraordinary and innovative abilities? Why don’t they get convinced that they do contribute into making their lives, as well as ours, so pathetic, meaningless and empty by clinging so strongly to their pessimistic perspectives?

I've never ever taken their points of view into consideration. It's the sky where I used to hide my secrets, and I know it heard my whispers. The stars have always glittered and shone for me as though they were trying to tell me: "Yes. We do believe in what others can't fathom, exactly like you do". You know what? There's something like a heavenly superpower to support and uplift our spirits whenever we obstinately insist on getting whatever we concentrate on. I've always closed my eyes, taken a deep breath and smiled, that I've already known and wholeheartedly believed, deep in my heart and mind that it was just a matter of time, and wishes do come true no matter how long it may take.

I’ve fulfilled many of my dreams recently, and many of those who scoff at dreamers now look at me with weird glances as though their eyes tell: "Whatever you've achieved recently is a matter of luck." But what's luck? Why do we use the word “lucky” when talking about anyone who could do something others couldn’t manage to do?  Aren't we the ones who choose, decide and accomplish? Luck is something we actually make, basically based on the things we choose to attract and believe in. The magical words: "Nothing's impossible, I can and I will, great things are on their way, elation and joy are to surround you soon, it's just a matter of time, practice and patience," are all REAL, and they've the power to create miracles!

We’re what we think, what we expect and what we dream of. Never underestimate the power of the mind. It’s what actually keeps us self-motivated and determined regardless of what others think. We, dreamers, are to endeavor day and night to prove we’ve within us the ability to perform miracles and knock our socks off, and to send a message to whoever hasn’t ever tried to let go of restrictions in their minds that "The limit is not in the sky. The limit is the mind". We were all born with wings, so let's spread them unhesitatingly and fly.

"Believe something and the Universe is on its way to being changed. Because you've changed, by believing. Once you've changed, other things start to follow. Isn't that the way it works?"